D – Drop Crotch trousers
I’m already seething just thinking about this one, let alone beginning to write about it. For the uninitiated drop-crotch trousers are like Ronseal, it does exactly what it says on the tin. As far as their origins are concerned I think the design is relatively new (new being since roughly 2009) although they could be likened to a westernised version of the harem pant (described as a cross between a skirt and skinny jeans) which are loose and baggy around the crotch and elasticated at the waist and ankles (don’t worry folks I’m about to sink my teeth into that faux pas over the page). Why someone decided this looked good I’m not sure, maybe it was an error on a design that was continued into production or the designer was intoxicated when sketching out some new trousers but I would have quite happily told them that it looks rubbish. First of all it looks like your trousers are slung round your arse even if you are wearing them on your waist (low slung trousers is never a good look), second it looks like you are wearing a nappy and have soiled yourself, third you look like a mess because of reasons one and two and fourth you have to walk like John Wayne after riding a horse bareback all day because of the extra fabric that hangs between your legs. Having unwittingly tried a pair on when looking for some chinos, I discovered that I would have to adopt the late iconic American cowboy’s gait due to the way the trousers had been designed and that was with a minimal drop-crotch (hence my being unaware of it).
Exceptions where this faux pas is acceptable
When you want to look like a grown man sporting an oversized nappy under his trousers.